Saturday, November 28, 2009


Focus is very important in my training to become
the most fabulous dog in the world.
I take my training very seriously.

You could say I'm focused about focus.

Here I am focused on a tasty treat this
little lady was selecting for me.
We were working on "wait" and "sit" and "down",
three of my best tricks.
Isn't she a cutie-patooty? Easy to focus.

Here I am focused hard on cheering for the Ducks.
I like Ducks, after all, I'm a Golden Retriever.
Mom and Dad get pretty excited when they play
and I like to cheer too.
I jump up on them when they yell.

Focusing on the frizbee is very important.
I am a frizbee master. It is my favorite thing.
I have two frizbees that my Mom and Dad think are
exactly the same. They are wrong.
One of them is MUCH better than the other.

New toys require much focus. If you lose concentration,
they might hide it.
I love a new toy, especially this one.
It smelled like a friend and was perfect for sucking.
I like to suck on my soft toys.

Finally, it is important to focus when you see potential friends
on the big, blinking, talking box Mom and Dad are obsessed with.
I have to work on my focus on this one better
because they never seem to come out to play with me.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Pavlov's dog ain't got nothin' on Teddy

(Teddy's mom will be a guest writer today while Teddy is on vacation.)

I imagine Teddy is a lot like a small child. As long as he has his basic needs met, knows he is loved, and has a routine to his day, he is happy. Bill and I are a lot like the parents of a small child when it comes to Master Teddy, in that we do everything we can to make sure he has his basic needs met, knows he is loved and has a routine.

Lately, Teddy's need for a routine has become a little ridiculous. Teddy is so dependent on his schedule that he starts acting like a complete imbecile if we deviate from his pattern by the slightest bit.

In the morning, we wake about 5:45. I get in the shower, Bill lets Master Teddy out of his crate. Before Bill gets Teddy's breakfast, Teddy has to go outside. Teddy knows this, so as soon as Bill is able to unlatch the crate, Teddy bursts forth from inside and makes a beeline for the back door. He KNOWS that pausing at his food station will do him no good. He must first go outside. Bill will stand and the door and wait. If Bill tries to go get Teddy's breakfast ready while Teddy is outside, he'll wait by the door and not go take care of his business. Teddy isn't going to risk being forgotten or worse, risk his breakfast, by losing sight of Bill to go out on the grass, so Bill has to remain in sight.

Before we leave for school, Teddy has to go outside. In nicer weather, Bill will take him out for a little frizbee. In the rainy muck, I take Teddy out because I can usually convince him to "hurry up" and go a little faster than Bill. (Bill is just too much fun!) When he comes back inside, I'll ask Bill which treat Teddy gets, a cookie or a frozen kong. After my question, Teddy will whisk past us and jump on his big pillow in the living room and wait. He also does this action if we open the freezer door and rustle the plastic bag the kongs are in.

When we get home, there is a similar routine as the morning. We greet Teddy and he runs for the door. First he must take care of business, then he has dinner. We have to walk him off the deck because he is too concerned about missing dinner to let us out of his sight. I feed Teddy dinner. As soon as he has used the facilities, he races to the door. Bursting through the door, he races to his food bowl and takes a few spins of excitement. If I am still outside or on my way over, Teddy will bark impatiently.

Teddy's routine revolves mainly around the distribution of food and biscuits. The funny thing is, I don't know if this regimen is Teddy's, or ours. We like that Teddy has a schedule. Today, on the way home from school, we took several minutes weighing our options because we needed to stop at the store. We could stop at the store on the way home, I could drop Bill off and go back, or we could scrap the whole idea completely and eat saltines and canned refried beans for dinner. The dilemma had nothing to do with us - not with laziness, or another urgency or a even a hatred of the grocery store. Our problem was that we didn't want Teddy to have to wait. He eats at 4pm. Making him wait even 20 minutes stresses the poor little guy (read Bill and Mindy) out.

If Teddy were to eat a half an hour late (and he occasionally does), he would forget as soon as the first kibble dropped into the dish. But we still worry. I'll admit, we worry a little more about the safety of our floors and brand new carpets because although Teddy has had a 9 hour bladder even as early as 4 months old, he occasionally gets stressed out. I doubt his accidents have to do with our occasional tardiness, but that doesn't make it easier to clean up.

Teddy, though human-like in his sweetness, is really an animal when it comes to his snacks. He knows what he has to do to get his half a cookie and if that means rushing to his crate as soon as I say, "Go to bed" then by golly, he will. I think Teddy could easily relearn his routines but I'm not so we could. Without a doubt, Teddy's saliva starts flowing with each step of his routine. But my palms start sweating at the thought of straying from his schedule. So who is really conditioned in our family?

I think we all know the answer to that question.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Achieving Extreme Cuteness

From time to time, I like to share my experience with the world.
Today's topic is cuteness.
While I have countless examples of my expertise in this area,
here are some of my favorites:

In this picture, I jumped up on the bed while mom was changing the sheets.
Since I had my sleepy, snuggly face on,
(which tricks them into leaving me here, by the way)
mom put a sleep shirt on me.
Hey, a boy needs his beauty rest, right?

Sometimes, in order to receive an
appropriate number of pats and scratches,
I have to stretch my head way up, like in this picture.
I could have gotten up to get closer,
but I much prefer the squish and stretch method.

One way to impress all around you with your cuteness
is to use good strategy.
In this case, I started barking to get attention.
I was ignored, so I barked a little more.
Mom tossed a pillow at my head, so I did what any Cutie would do -
I promptly snuggled in for a nap!

The foolproof method of achieving extreme cuteness is of course,
striking a pose and flashing a toothy grin.

Works every time!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


Ahem. Excuse me.
Do you remember me?
It's me. Teddy.

I'm sure you've been wondering where I've been lately.
Up until a couple of weeks ago, I was really busy.

I spent a lot of time with friends.
My friend Zonker and I swam together.
It may look like he is ahead in that race,
but guess who came back with the prize?

That's right.
I'm a good swimmer because my booty floats!

I also got to hang out with a human friend.
This little lady walked me around and around until I was so tired,
I didn't think I could walk another step.
But you know me, of course I did!

This is what I'm doing nowadays.
The Keepers of the Food Bin and the Frizbee Throwers
keep leaving every day.
So I'm back to my 8 hour power nap.

Only 10 more months till the fun starts again!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Ode to a River

Cool, rushing river.
How I love you so.
My playground, my pasture of happiness.

Your banks covered with wet rocks, musty grass, and
the occasional dead fish.
Every part of you screams fun.

If I could spend but one more hour along your shimmery banks,
I would spend it on patrol, for a waterlogged toy,
flying through the air.

And when I see said toy, in an arc across
my dear river's rippled surface,
I am blown away by the need
to run, jump, splash and swim.

And landing, graceful, into your blessed, wet, coolness.
I am overcome with the need to chase my toy,
grasp it along with a mouthful of your river bounty,
And return to shore, to do it again.

Times infinity.

Camping is Cool

Here are some pictures from our camping trip.
I hope that they help you understand just how wonderful it was.

This is just an example of the amount of dirt that covered me after our trip.
Pretty impressive, right?

Camping was at least 10% awesome fun,
90% serious laziness.
No dog could complain when faced with those odds.

A dog's number one job while camping is patrol.
The humans' biggest concern is for these coolers,
which were heavily laden with yummy snacks and beer.
I watched them very closely.
This is how I spent most of the day.
Laying very still in the cool dust,
as close to the action as I could get.
This is my buddy Zonker.
He is a much more experienced patrolman than I am.
Look how serious he is?
Maybe he should go camping more.

Why Camping Changed my Life

This is me before my first camping trip.
Heartbreaking, don't you think?
It is really hard for me to look at this picture and
remember what life was like before I'd been camping.
(Check out that carpet, though. That is NICE!*)

Before I went camping I'd never known what it was like
to loll around in the dirt all day, to eat delicious hot dogs dropped from the table, or
the never-ending smorgazbord to behold from the hands and face of an 8-month old.
Before I went camping I didn't understand the joy that comes from
frolicking in the river for hours on end, or how funny it is
to refuse to do your business in the grass at the campground and
require your dad to drive you two to three times a day to the
off-leash area to take care of things.
Ahhh, camping.

This is a picture of me while camping.
Isn't the before and after remarkable?

*Mom and Dad got new carpet and wanted to advertise.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Busy Busy Teddy

I haven't posted in awhile and I'm sure you've missed me. Let me assure you that I have been VERY busy! When I posted last, I was telling you the story of my trip to the beach. Not long after, there was a barbeque at our house to celebrate the Fourth of July. The best part of the night was when my buddy Nate came over!

Mom and Dad are usually a little nervous about the fireworks because I'm afraid of many things. They discovered that I am more afraid of a newspaper falling off a table (super scary!) than really loud fireworks (not so scary).

I spent much of the evening lolly-gagging around on the grass.

Oh yeah, and chewing sticks!

Stay tuned for more about my first CAMPING TRIP!!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Tales of Teddy Part 4

Part 4: Tasty Treasures at the Beach

Even when he was at the beach, Teddy still found sticks to chew on!

Teddy noticed that his mouth tasted a little salty.
Teddy recognizes the drive through.
Tasty things happen when pulling up to the food delivery windows!
Nothing tastes better than ice cream after a great day at the beach!

All done!
The perfect ending to a perfect day!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Tales of Teddy Part 3

Part 3: If I went anywhere, I WAS RUNNING!

And Master Teddy, upon smelling the salted air,
seeing the space open up before him,
and feeling the joy building up in his larger-than-life puppy heart,
started to run.
And so he ran.

And ran.

And ran some more.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Tales of Teddy Part 2

Part 2: A New Horizon
When we arrived at this wondrous place called "The Beach",
Teddy first looked out upon a whole new world.
He couldn't believe his eyes and the incredible . . . space.
His people made him stay on his leash,
not knowing what Master Teddy would do when
presented with such a vast expanse before him.
First he looked north. Then south. So much to see!
He wasn't sure where to begin and was
overwhelmed with how to take in this new world.
So naturally he started sniffing around.
Delicious, salty water everywhere.
Soon, Master Teddy was struck by an overwhelming need to . . .
And run he did.

Tales of Teddy

Over the next couple of posts, I'm going to tell you a story.
It is the story of a dog, his people and quite possibly
the most wonderful place in the world.

Part One: The Car

In the beautiful land called Oregon lives
a handsome, mighty dog named Teddy.
We shall refer to him as Master Teddy.
He loves his people and he loves adventure.
He also loves the car.
Master Teddy knows that the car leads to adventure
and any ride in the car,
even a short ride, is glorious.

On the rare occasion that Master Teddy's people
forget to roll down the window for him,
Master Teddy will whine from the backseat, or
stick his nose (or tongue) in their ears to remind them.

But once that window opens,
Master Teddy spends most of the ride feeling the wind ruffle his hair.
No one could be happier than Master Teddy
riding in the back, his people in the front,
and the wind blowing directly in his face.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Lessons for Humans from Teddy

Dear Humans,
There is a big difference between humans and dogs. Cause and effect. Humans understand this relationship, dogs don't. Because we don't understand the relationship, occasionally we get ourselves into some sticky situations. Here is an example: When playing with a ball, if you push the ball under a couch, you no longer can play with the ball. Humans understand this and don't push the ball under the couch. Dogs push the ball under the couch and bark at it.
Another example: When you break the rules, you have to suffer the consequences. Humans don't like to break the rules because they don't like the consequences. Dogs jump on the bed anyway and look what happens:
Here is another shot:
That's right. When you jump on the bed in my house, you have to wear a bra, get laughed at and have your picture taken.

Here is the big difference between humans and dogs, though. Was jumping on the bed worth the ridicule? Absolutely! So comfy. So cozy. So much attention for doing so. So here is the lesson, my two-legged friends. Sometimes it is okay to live life without concern for the consequences! Break the rules! Push the ball under the couch! Someone will get it for you and you can go right on playing!

I just hope you look as cute in a bra as I do!

Love, Teddy

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Exhaustion from every angle

What does tired look like?
You know, the kind of tired that happens after chasing
two little kids around all day?
Well . . . it can have a lot of different looks.

Here they are, in random order:

Classic Teddy.

Hey, don't bother me man. I'm trying to catch a few winks!


Hummana hummana hummana . . .

You talkin' to me?